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The love/sex life story of me_(1)

2022-07-18 01:10:50

While there's probably something dirty for everyone here, this isn't a porno story so much trying to keep track of what I've been up to so far. Like watching a show as I'm doing now, it's actually possible to forget how and who you went through to get here. It's a love-life timeline of me I guess, kind of a cliffnotes thing without bulletpoints. It doesn't represent everyone I've ever been with because some one-nighters are forgettable, and not every time I've had sex because like most of us not every time was story worthy and it's pretty frequent when you're in a relationship. It's more about the important ones where I discovered something new or interesting. I thought about putting it under the "diary" category but I think that would be misconstrued as "dear diary, insert porno."

My first boyfriend was a guy named Mark, coincidentally my current husband's name. He was controlling and abusive in the naughty way, so I accepted it. He didn't like me having guy friends, didn't want me going out without him, easy to piss off, like what girls warn their girlfriends about, but I was a sexually ignorant virgin in the "slashie fangirl" sock-in-your-mouth, crying-as-I-tie-you-down-with-more-duct-tape kind of way at the time. Because I guess I was the freak he always wanted he was now justified in not asking if I wanted to try something and just went for it. Alot of guys have experience trying to talk girls into trying things like anal or even giving head for the boring sweet girls, and it's usually a atruggle but he didn't worry about it. We weren't attached and needy either but he was pretty territorial. We never said we loved each other or anything and he even shared me with 2 of his nicer friends once, one of whom would later become a bf so he wasn't terribly in love with me. This sharing'll become a recurring theme. So Mark was my friend's boyfriend before mine, she met him at a party we went to and I got to know him through her, and after they broke up he came to me. She tried to warn me like I said but I didn't listen or care, she had become kind of timid since they broke up and it was kind of an embarassed suggestion at best. There was a good reason for it. He was never bad to me, or you could say he was but I loved it, like I said, but that wasn't the case for her. Although it turned out alright for me, I didn't know at the time (and she didn't tell me which is kind of a dick move), He was the same way with her. But she wasn't like me. Her first time was in front of his friends crying as she was raped and humiliated, a small party or bbq with his friends or something where everyone was drunk. Remember the controlling part, she had no friends there because he didn't want them around. If there were more voices saying "hey what the fuck?!? stop!" it might not have happened, but they didn't hear that. I assume to them it was like a rape-porno, something everybody watches but doesn't admit to their friends. In that environment though they were all thinking the same thing; Everyone's cool with it and I'm not doing it so I'm ok with it. He didn't leave a physical mark where I could see it, otherwise the timing of that and the breakup would have been suspicious to me and I wouldn't have become his next girl. From what she told me though during that event he was rough in the way I knew him, he choked and slapped her around during which is where the humiliation came in. She only told me after he and I broke up, which while I understand it being hard to talk about was kind of messed up because it might have happened to me. Given the circumstances she hasn't been with a guy since as far as I know. I haven't talked to her in a couple years but for a few years after that she was strictly girls, including my first. More about that later.

Kenny came second. He was one of Mark's nicer friends that I was shared with like I was talking about. After the last brakeup he was all over my phone being "a good friend." Basically he knew I was available, what kind of things I was into and had to beat someone else to me. He was alot less comfortable with just doing what he wanted to me with no apology. But that was the only type of guy I was used to, I so was the one pushing him to try new things. Nothing boring like anal and blowjobs because he knew from experience I was into those and I consider them parts of regular sex. But I wanted to be slapped and choked, tied up and belted like I was used to. He was my first attentive bf, the kind of normal nice guy who gives girls what they want. We said our "love you"s, went out places and everything normal couples do together. There were things I couldn't get him to do. One of them was pegging, the other wasn't group sex, after all that would be hypocritical since we'd already done that together. I actually convinced him to let me choose from a group of his friends for a gangbang. We'd hang out with them one at a time, someone hanging out with his friend and the friend's gf basically, casually loosen them up with innuendo while playing games or what have you while I was laying on the blatant flirting. When I had private moments with them most would flirt more directly with me, thinking I wanted something on the side and Kenny was totally oblivious. Even guys who claim to be honorable and would never shack up with a friend's girl will do it if they think they can get away with it. Anyway I would tell them that he was cool with sharing and they didn't have to wait until we were alone to lay on the game. When we were all in the same room again the conversation could continue more fluidly. I had 6 recruits lined up pretty fast, a little more than a week I think, sadly only 5 showed up. I'm only going to namedrop the "important notches" but Curtis deserves a special mention and made up for the absense. After breaking up with Kenny I didn't see him again, but occasionally I still think about him because... His dick was amazing. Almost coke-can thick, foreskinned that didn't come all the way around his head, light blue veins all the way down the sides, and I couldn't even get my fingertips to touch together at the base. And that was soft, it hung along his thighs almost halfway to his knees at like 9+ inches when hard like a pornstar. Except for the fact that aside from size pornstars have unremarkable dicks, but this one was perfect and inviting, practically yummy. Naturally during the gangbang and probably because I'd been making constant jokes about its size, he maintained a monopoly on my asshole the majority of the time. The pressure on the back of my vaginal wall left me hovering around orgasm constantly, the guys who took turns in my pussy made me cum every time. I had a theory that a girl's body can take 6 guys at once. The logistics are hard, not enough room to fit that many people in around a girl at once and they did in fact mostly take turns 2 or 3 at once. But with a coffee table the height is about right to make it work. Curtis underneath me while on my back, someone standing at the foot of the coffee table to fuck my pussy, one at the head with his dick in my mouth, one straddling over me and the table titfucking me, and 2 on either side for me to fluff while they waited for a better parking spot. Only 1 in that last instance though when someone didn't show. Kenny and I were together for awhile after that too. But he personally never shared me with them again. Not that it caused any problems or anything, but as far as I know none of them had ever seen each others' dicks and I probably didn't make him too happy with my frequent musings about Curtis's but he was a good sport and it, but anyway of course we eventually broke up.

After that was H. I'll call her H and she was the one I was talking about in Mark's story. We'd been bff's since we were little but we've drifted apart the last few years. It probably had something to do with being friends and then being together for awhile. I can reasonably maintain relationships with exes and stay friends, but the onus is on other people to be able to do the same. It's a rare thing outside of swingers, jealousy comes too easily to some people. I've never been in a monogamous relationship even now. Anyway, She was the first girl I've ever been with, and there have been 3 1/2, which will be explained. As soon as my "single" window was open she made her move the same way I tried to convince guys to volunteer for my gangbang. We'd always been flirty the way friends are, but after him I noticed she started acting differently. She'd stare too long or she would want to cuddle all the time, no sense of personal space. I didn't mind, she was always like that but it was different than usual. So after the innuendo and flirting to ease me into it like I've done, we had that conversation where she said she wanted me, and asked me to help her get off. The way she sold me on it was that it wouldn't mean anything and would be comfortable, she would wear a skirt and no panties for clothed unawkward access, laying with her legs hanging over the bed, and I could wear a strapon over my clothes. Then just came rocking together like whenever girls are dancing or giving a mock lap-dance. Basically entirely unoffensive if I wasn't into it, not asking much. It didn't turn out that way. I got excited as she was and I did start off wearing it over my pants, but all of her clothes and my shirt had come off by the time we were done. And I was on top of her with my tongue in her mouth. Que sera... We were living together for almost a year, a few months of which were after we broke up. I don't know why, we were still cool with each other and I could have had a relationship with a girl, we were pulling it off, I was just more into guys and she wasn't at all. So we broke up but lived together and I started seeing Nick.

Nick was interesting. He was a skinny blonde fem looking guy who had some questionable fetishes and a thing for older women. He had in fact dated a 32 year old sub PE teacher at his HS before we got together and wouldn't you know it- she became my gf later. In keeping with my polygamous nature and his guy libido, he introduced me to her one night at his apartment. We talked about how they met, PE shorts, yoga (which we met for right away) and they had previously talked about how she was eager to try sex with another girl. Naturally the reason he facilitated was he was hoping to be in on it, which never happened. Aside from a shared BJ at a bbq later. ANyway this para's his so I'll say he was like my opposite. We had different fetishes but we were both freaks. Some things even I won't do like diaper/shit stuff, when I want to do that it'll be when I'm changing an actual baby, thank you. One thing we could both agree on was pegging. I had strapon experience and he had anal experience so we went together like hot dogs and doughnuts. I wasn't expecting him to wear lingerie but it was unexpectedly welcome too. The part I wasn't great about was topping. Not like it made me uncomfortable, I'm just not the take-charge type and was used to being on the receiving end. But I like to make my men happy so I tied his wrists to his headboard, buttfucked, belittled, and spanked him while he was dressed like a slutty girl. We weren't together for long, maybe 6 months when I found out I was pregnant! I planned to work out what to do together with him and I was totally open to an abortion, we weren't that serious and it was still early in every sense. But he threw a fit and essentially threatened me, I won't say what he said but I figured it was over. My roomie was supportive but my other burgeoning yoga friend didn't want the drama at the time. I hadn't decided what to do with the pregnancy but it was decided for me when I went for a "lady checkup" and was told I couldn't have a baby yet. I had some uterine scarring that wouldn't allow it to get nutrients and air it needed to develop. It wasn't a big hit to me or anything because it was so early and actually fixable whenever I finally found the money for it, which I didn't have at the time (I'm now viable). So after a snaking I went home with a sore cooch, which sounds like the darker half of a porn joke but it's not funny at all, especially the pain and cramping.

So the PE sub. I'll call her R, guys like shoutouts for bro-fives but girls and women probably won't. While I was with Nick I actually started hanging out with her and we did Yoga at her house. I don't remember the positions but that's not why I was doing it. I looked great in those pants and they were fun to rub against someone wearing them, which we did. Our first experience was erotic but not sexual, doing stretches together and she showed me how to touch my toes with her lap straddling my ass for "guidance". If we weren't wearing panties it could have been embarassing wearing those pants wet as we were... I was still living with H while I was with Nick, which caused friction because of our history together, then when I left him she found out I had been getting close to a woman that wasn't her and how R reacted with my pregnant news, it pissed off H even more. She and R actually almost had some drama when R came to talk about the whole pregnancy thing with me. After we'd been seeing each other for awhile and my roomie got another gf the place got a little crowded, so I moved in with R and her son Dillan. Trouble. Not right away, and the "mom's gf" sounds like a story from Naughty America but they wouldn't legally be able to upload this kind of thing. She was pretty inexperienced for an older woman, Me being her first girl and we had similar stories. Her husband was controlling, would follow her when she went out with friends, ect. The only good thing she got from him was his son. She married him before she could legally drink so she missed out on the young messing around aspect of figuring stuff out and was trying to make up for it with younger guys. After separating with him she burned through a half dozen barely legals and one 16 year old Nick before me, but she wasn't interested in a relationship and after having sex with them would leave them soon after, all besides Nick. Anyway I loved her alot and we were together a couple years before I messed that up. She was accomodating for a woman, she let me have a bf on the side, a single dad of 2 kids who I actually forget about from time to time, he's the guilty reason I'm getting this stuff down! She didn't mind sharing either, having me home every night while I carved out whatever extra time I could with him, and I taught her the things my previous bfs taught me. Like I said she was pretty inexperienced in the sense that she'd been in the drive through plenty enough times but always ordered the same thing. I made her try anal, bondage, spanking, ect. again topping against my nature but she needed to try something different. The relationship with her son was easy too. Being a teenager he was into gaming, girls, and being a smartass like me so we got along great, and when she wasn't home we would hang out together. But we got too comfortable. We would flirt but it was always a joke, I made sure not to give him the wrong idea pretty much only because of how much trouble I could have found myself in, so I kept distancing myself when it started heating up. But he was the only testosterone in the house and I'm needy, but it's not like I made the first or any move and didn't have a bf already so my ass was covered, like how you feel obligated to say "no" when you don't really want to. There was also no "regular thing" just the first time I didn't say no like I was supposed to, and the second time special occasion which got me thrown out. That first time, I sat on the couch across from him and put my legs in his lap like I'd done a hundred times before, and he started tickling my feet. Not a big deal, so I struggled a little and he stopped for a minute before stroking my legs. He was getting bold and tracing higher and I didn't say anything, when he got to the hem of my shorts leg I put my ankle behind his neck and pulled his head towards me, I couldn't help it then. When he started kissing my thighs I lost it and let him do what he wanted. That was apparently to clean out my pussy with his tongue, or maybe shine my clit with it. Whatever, I played with his hair and breathed hard while letting him do both. After that he got more confident and dangerous, things like grabbing my butt while his mom was right there looking the other way, tempting fate. The second and last time I was taking him out driving for his 16th birthday but he told me what he really wanted and I agreed, it was a half truth I told his mom. We were going out practice driving but he really wanted what he got a couple years before, yeah if you're doing the math you know I'm a bad person. I was driving to a "safe spot" somewhere we could practice driving without the risk of getting pulled over or hitting anyone, with the added benefits of not getting caught giving him his present. It was just after dark and we were just out of the driveway when he had his dick out, playing with it in one hand and massaging the back of my neck with the other. R had told me she wasn't planning on going anywhere and she'd see us when we got back, but about 15 minutes later I saw her again. My fault for not making it very far and picking a bad place to stop, the road towards main street went right by where I parked. He was pushy and eager so I had to pull into a dollar store's dirt lot down the street with no lights nearby, I'm surprised she could even see the car in the dark from the road, but she pulled in behind us and almost caught me trying to reach his balls with my tongue and I already had a mouthful of his dick. She didn't see anything much the car parked in the lot, but since we were parked in the dark so soon after leaving there was nothing else we could have been doing. But she did probably see us panic like insects along with him riding high in the seat pulling his pants up when the lights hit us, I thougt she was a cop. I knew it was all my fault but I was still bitter, I got thrown out that night and went to stay with my mom. That was late in the month a couple Novembers ago, I had a bunch of bags in her closet, Xmas presents that I still don't know what happened to. That's just a weird little detail that I would keep coming back to that made me cry a long time after it was over. Now we're actually on casual talking terms on a mutual chat site we visit and we send each other pictures and memes we find online occasionally. She says she realizes it's hypocritical to hate me for doing what she's done but we'll never be close again because of the betrayal of it. I effectively cheated on her with her underage son. How Jerry Springer.

While I was with her I had been working on a ranch. I'd worked my way up to manager over a bunch of immigrants with varying levels of English, but we had a fun relationship. I rode around in a golf cart all day yelling mock Spanish along with the few words I knew and I would hear things back like "puta" with a smile and wave, I think Puta means love! No we were all pretty cool and loved giving each other shit. Literally, I was the manager so I decided who deloused horse stalls, Javier! Anyway after breaking up with R I quit the job out of depression, sat around at my mom's all day playing games and moping, a girlfriend of mine made it easier taking me out places like parties. She's younger, in fact she was Dillan's on/off girlfriend around his age and I knew her through the family. I started going to High School parties with people 5 or 6 years younger than me, not that I was the only one like I thought I'd be. One tall bald black guy was chatting with me and pretty soon I was sitting on his lap, and we were talking about what coke does to you and he was trying to talk me into it. He expected it to get me in the mood and get him laid, but while I was already in his lap I wasn't sure I was in the mood. "H2" I'll call my friend, she was putting him on about how much I actually wanted it and he should take me in the unoccupied bedroom and give me some more. She didn't know it at the time but I'd been with black guys before (not a stranger though, between-noteworthyness dating), because she wasn't talking about the coke, which she also totally approves of. That candy he did give me got my heart going and I liked the rush, but he followed her hints and said we could only have more if we were alone like she suggested, so I indulged him. I knew where it was going and just figured "fuck it." When we were alone he rubbed some behind the head of his dick with his thumb and I licked it off, and I discovered I didn't like it on my tongue much. Not like I haven't trained my gag reflex for the express reason of deepthroating but if I hadn't it would have killed that too because my throat felt numb. Side note- black dicks aren't any bigger than anyone elses'. Now in porno everyone's dick's big so of course every black guy you see's going to have a big dick, but the myth's in place because of the musings of lonely white women wondering about the "taboo" of BBC who have never had it. Like most agressive guys, especially party guys I've noticed there wasn't alot of kissing and playing around, it was "turn me around, lift dress, panties off, push down and drunk doggystyle." After about only 10 minutes someone knocked on the door looking for him, from the ebonic accent I knew it was the other black guy I'd seen there hitting on girls and failing so I think if he struck out the whole "knock and walk in" thing was plan B. It was the best I'd felt in awhile, so I didn't even say anything or look back when he told him he could come in. It went on for like another 15 minutes until both had cum at either end of me and the original guy before he left helped me pull my panties back on with an unexpected present. A ziplock baggie tucked by my butt. That gave me an idea how I could get back on the horse.

I browsed Craigslist personals for one of "those" entries. If you've been desperate and horny you know about them, they say "sensual massage" or "amatuer naked photoshoot" or something similar. I only had to message one guy back, but did my safety homework first and bagged a collegiate amatuer photographer. That's actually stretching it, he had a camera and was in college but it was community college and a cameraphone that I'm sure he didn't even know how to change the settings on. He took plenty of pics and a couple videos of me posing naked with props like his penis and we had a fun time. I got $300 for it which was probably most of a paycheck since he works at at a pizza place rhyming with Riddle Cheesers which I say so I don't get sued or something. From then on I went by referral, he would suggest me to his friends and they would get something similar, but being "broke burger flippers" as I like to call them I got frequent-but-unstrenuous work. I became an escort! But since I was playing it safe and meeting by referral the networking pool was limited to guys my age who didn't have alot of money, so I gave alot of head since that was cheap and fast. The "savings over time" logic doesn't work with instant gratification, getting off is getting off whether it's $300 or $50 so natually everyone wanted the $50 option. Yeah I learned later how little I was charging, I'm not vain but I get told I'm hot and hit on plenty, so I think I'm fairly sexy. But apparently I could have been charging thousands if I'd chosen clients a little better, I've talked to other girls that charge that much and they're like 300lb chainsmoking grandmas, guys will TRULY fuck anything. Mine were nice guys though, about 6 of them in their group and I got invited to parties with them, called to hang out and play games, we were friends with benefits and $ being exchanged. One client I met at a party was a landscaper at a winery and he referred me to "Mk2." I say that as a joke because he's my secong Mark and the one who's my husband now. Owning a winery on top of acreage like he does I figured he was rich but I didn't know how much, that wasn't where his capital came from, it was just where he lays his head, I won't say how much he makes but It's a couple digits above the highest plausable guess. At one point I was spending 2 days a week with him and getting double whole-package value of $400 a day. What we did those nights was the most fun too, he became my favorite in a hurry being alot like Mk1 with a meaner streak. When I slept there I actually started spent my nights tied up on the floor of his closet in between playing servant, being belted while hanging from the punching bag eyebolt in the basement ceiling, led around on a leash and swatted with a paper like a dog and more. He eventually got jealous and wanted me all to himself, giving me a Miata and a $5000 a month allowance to come live with him and be his alone, which I recently learned someone else is effectively paying nowadays. I would have done it for free for the chance to live with him and have that kind of fun every day. We got married in July last year, I loved the ceremony and thought he did, it was a voyeuristic group sex thing but since then he hasn't touched me like that, only wanting the occasional wakeup blowjob and housekeeping. I'm more like the dirty live-in maid nowadays, but I've gotten something else from him as a consolation present- a boyfriend who is again a friend of his. I stay with him whenever Mark's out of town, which is about 10-12 days a month, and when I'm over there my girlfriend usually comes to hang out with us and that's when I get my gaming time in. He's the one who's taken up giving Mark that $5000 a month I get as an allowance. As far as I know that wasn't always the case, but I wonder if I'm still in the escort biz and my husband's now my pimp... I have in fact entertained one of his wedding guests who was traveling to CA on business, he didn't speak a word of English and had an entourage, and I didn't know he was coming until I got an out-of-timezone text from my husband telling me to expect him and I was to give him the VIP treatment. I've learned to cook since I moved in here, there were actually staff on another house on the property for that kind of thing before he met me but it's empty now. I wonder if I'm basically getting their $ to do their jobs now since I clean this giant place and do all the cooking and laundry and stuff.

Before I forget, earlier I said I'd been with 3 1/2 women which I said I'd explain. I met a tgirl at a party and have been spending time with her lately. She's so feminine and beautiful that she was getting hit on there as much or more than any other girl, and the guys have no idea. Neither did I until the subject came up and she whispered it to me nervously. She actually doesn't feel comfortable in the open with people knowing who she really is and wants to stay discreet for now. But at some point we got into talking about our experiences and things we still wanted to try and I mentioned girls with dicks, I don't know if she somehow managed to steer the conversation that way but we got a couple joking cheers fron drunk guys when we went to hang out by ourselves in the garage to "talk" more privately. It's a developing situation, but she's not like the usual guys or girls I like. It's fitting I guess since she's basically neither gender, but definitely feminine. She's gentle and likes slow sex with alot of holding each other and kissing and gentle rocking. My husband being as... progressive as he is, girls are allowed and he knows I like to hang out and mess around with H2 but I don't know how he'd feel about "T" if he knew she had a dick. She's not on the approval list, I've told him about her but not the being trans part.

So that's where I am right now, I don't know about my standing in my marriage and while I love him and it was fun at the start right now I'm more like the naughty maid like I said. He gives me so much freedom though which is totally counter to what I was expecting (I graduated from the closet to a cage in the basement gym when I stopped seeing him as an escort and became exclusive, now none of that) and I can't see myself with anyone else, so it's not in danger just totally opposite to what I was expecting. I'll probably update this eventually as more interesting stuff happens so I hope it was interesting.